Saturday, June 6, 2009

Breastfeedings Twins in Public

Today we went to the Children's Museum and I've realized that there is no hiding breastfeeding two babies in public. None. Boobs are out. Period. This is nothing at all like when I tandem nursed E and Z. They're 1 1/2 years apart and I never breastfed Z in public by the time that E was born. It is a lot easier to be discreet with one baby. So today taught me a very good lesson:

Get used to your boobs being out if you're going to nurse twins.

Plain and simple. I was a little frustrated on not being able to control the situation at first, but after the third nursing session today at the museum I was definitely more comfortable and just in tune with what the babies needs were and what they were doing. I quit trying to cover up my boobs (although I did cover up what I could once I got them latched on.) With two crying newborns it impossible to do everything and meet both of their needs. Plus I know that as they get older and get into that stage where their hands are all over the place they will probably win at keeping my shirt up and exposing my goods. Of course I can try to not feed them both at the same time but that isn't always possible. So I've decide that at this point in my life that I'm in tune enough with myself, my womanhood, and my don't give a damness to just do what comes natural. If my babies cries, I'm going to nurse them. If people are watching they better look away. My boobs are about to say hello to the sky, wind, fluorescent lights in buildings, grocery stores, and gawking eyes.

Another adventure in my breastfeeding chapter begins...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Breastfeeding Twins and the Fame

I went to WIC yesterday and it's amazing how fascinated people are with twins. Everyone wanted to look at that and ask me questions about them...including the infamous, "Are they identical?" Mind you that's when they know that one is a girl and one is a boy, lol.

People were amazed that I had one in a carseat and one in my handmade sling. Then they were amazed when I plopped them both in the carseat together. It was so funny to me. I was really tickled. It's like being a mini celebrity.

Then to top it off when they found out that I'm nursing twins...oh my! I was the talk of the whole office. It was really cool and they thought for sure that I would be able to teach them so much about nursing...but I was coming there to speak to a lactation consultant to check things about the twins latch, lol.

The good news about our little adventure yesterday was that they are now both 5.15 lb and that means they have gained 8 oz since last Friday! That's reassuring because the average weight gain for twins is 4-7 oz a week. I'm sure they'll be back up to their birth weight within a couple of days now.

I was also able to get some help with their latching. They both do this weird thing where they roll in their lips instead of sticking them out in a puckered style like a fish. So we're working on that, but it was reassuring they are still gaining despite that little hang up.

I think one of them is crying...gotta run.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Twins aren't that hard...

"Really they aren't. All they do at this point is eat, sleep, and poop."

Umphf. That is the sound of me putting my foot in my mouth...again. I must like the taste of unpedicured toes.

Well, I came to HUGE realization yesterday. It's not that taking care of twins is hard. In fact it's not. It's when you add in all the other aspects of your daily life before they came that makes it hard.

Yesterday I decided I was ready to go back to transcription work...I took a full audio hour of the most boring conference call. Fun fun. To top that off the audio was horrible quality. I had to rewind so many times.

Now add to that the fact that the babies are nursing around the clock, literally. They did not sleep for longer than an hour at a time yesterday. I guess they are growing through a growth spurt or something.

So needless to say I ended up just turning in what I was able to finish and vowed to myself not to do something so stupid next time. I NEED to make income to help out but I have to come up with a new game plan.

I can do the transcription work but I can't do those darn conference calls. They're boring and I realized last night that I hate them, and I don't hate a lot of things. So I will probably keep doing the medical transcription slowly on a part time basis. I'm not sure when I'm going to start that at this point though. And I'll do my interview transcription that I like and am fast at.

But other than that I need to find some other way to bring income. I know I can do my music but I really want to get into making money with my sewing, knitting, and crochet crafts. So today I'm going to come up with a plan to make things WAHM thing work with twins, a 1 year old, and a 2 year old. Sound impossible? Maybe, but it can work.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Mental Roadblocks

I don't know why anxiety sets in when you try to start something new. I'm starting to write a book about having four children under the age of four. I think about the book everyday but I haven't written a thing. I know the concept and the idea but for some reason I haven't written anything. It seems like this happens to me a lot when it's concerning writing.

As a teenager I looooved to write and I still do now. I think that's what drew me to working as a transcriptionist. I love to type and I love the English language. I've always been good at grammar too.

Sooooo....why the roadblocks? Why I am stopping myself?

One obvious answer is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the success of the book. Fear of the lack of success of the book. Fear of not finishing the book.

Writing a book is a big task and I'm giving myself a year to complete the book. It's a book about the journey I'll be on over the next year with my kids. I know things will be hectic, crazy, and fun having a soon to be 3 years old, a 1 year old, and twinfants. I really want to record the journey and after that I think that other moms will be interested in reading about it. I know I would be. I'm sure I'll have a lot of advice to share at the end of the journey, or better yet at the end of that chapter of the journey.

So now it's time to stop avoiding writing...peace.

Friday, May 22, 2009

They're here!!

Amiri Charles Solomon Ramsey
May 15, 2009
9:14 pm
6.2 lb, 18 3/4 in

Laylah Mary Ella Ramsey
May 15, 2009
9:21 pm
6.5 lb, 18 3/4 in

After much anticipation....they're here! Wow...what a journey. There is so much to say about their birth and all of the prodomal labor leading up to their birth. I was actually admitted and discharged from the hospital on May 16 when one nurse said I was dilated to 5 cm. I was admitted and contracting regularly but not progressing and the midwife checked me and said I'm only 4 cm. So I was sent home again, but I wasn't tripping or angry I just knew that things would happen when they were meant to happen. I really did have peace. I went home and drank a glass of wine, took Zion to the ER and went to bed. Yes, you read right the ER. She got a coat hanger stuck under her eyelid and she's fine...but that is an entirely different story.

So I spent May 17 trying not to go into labor. I started the morning out with a glass of wine because I woke having contractions. And no, I'm not an alcholic. I normally don't even drink wine, I just really wanted to not go into labor until the 18th so that the midwife that I really like would deliver my babies.

So anyway the next day I was at my mom-in-law's house sitting on the couch relaxing. All of a sudden I started having strong contractions at around 2:30 p. I was like, "Okay, that was a strong one." I had a few more of those until I thought that if I continued having them I was definitely going to the hospital that day. So I tried taking a shower and noticed that they were 5 minutes apart. Then I tried laying down and the bed and they were five minutes apart. Then I tried getting in the tub and they were five minutes apart still...and at that point I started thinking about getting an epidural even though I really wanted a natural labor.

B showed up at that point and I told him that we needed to go soon and that I really wanted an epidural. I called the midwife and she asked me how I felt and I was like, "Like I need an epidural."

So when we got to the hospital I didn't want to get in a wheelchair because it hurt like hell to sit on my but during a contraction. So I walked up to the labor and delivery unit on the third floor. It probably took us 30 to 45 minutes because I was walking so slow and then stopping during contractions. I was also trying to look like I was in control of everything because people were just staring at me like I needed a wheelchair. A couple of nurses offered me a wheelchair but I was like, "Oh, no no no."

When I got to my room it was about 15 minutes until 7 pm. I was dilated to about a 6. I got in the bath tub shortly afterwards and had no real relief from the contractions. I was in transition and I just wanted an epidural. So I got out and got one. When it finally kicked in I was glad that I had gone that route. I really wanted to be able to enjoy my labor and laugh and joke. I wanted to relax too. I had had so much prodomal labor that I was all ready exhausted.

At about 9 pm they wheeled me into the OR to deliver the babies. It was at that point that they said I was 10 cm and popped my first water bag. They did an ultrasound and discovered that baby B, Laylah, was breech and not head down! In my mind I was praying that I wouldn't have to have a c-section. I pushed Amiri Charles Solomon out at 9:14 pm. He looked wonderful, healthy and full of life. I was a little afraid because he sounded so gurgly. Then they took him to the warmer. I was disappointed because I didn't get to have him put onto my chest right after he was born.

Then little Miss Laylah decided to stick her foot out of the birth canal. I haven't watched the video of the birth yet but my mom tells me that it was pretty frightening. I thought she was coming down the birth canal more but that feeling was actually the doctors hand inside of me pulling Laylah's other leg out of my body. Then he pulled her down some and pulled one arm out, then the other and then I pushed her head out. She was so limp looking when she came out. She had her umbilical cord wrapped around her body once and her neck twice. It scared me and I cried a little. The nurses and doctor kept telling me that she was going to be fine. A few minutes later she cried and I felt better. They had to take her to the NICU to work on her a little.

Anyway, it was a beautiful birth and after all that I went through during the delivery I truly believe that I made the right choice with the epidural. Me and B and planning on having any more children, but if for some very slim chance I became pregnant again I would definitely have an epidural. But that's not even something I want to think about. I'm done and thankful for the four beautiful and healthy children that I have :)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Why I've been away...

Things have been busy and crazy. We've moved. B has still been looking for work. E finally started walking a few weeks ago. And I'm at that last part of my pregnancy where I want to kill someone and do whatever I can to get these babies out of me. I'm bitchy. Plain and simple. I've been having stop and start contractions for the past two weeks! I'm dilated 4 to 5 cm and these babies just ain't moving. I'm frustrated beyond belief. I fell for the, "Twins rarely go beyond 36 weeks," bull. Here I sit at 38 weeks and 1 day...soon to be 2 days in four hours! Arghhh...I've contemplated castor oil but I remember what that was like when I tried it during my pregnancy with Zion. I don't think I want to try that again.

The positive thing out of this...well there are more than one. First off I'm so thankful to have two healthy babies inside of me...two big stubborn babies :) I'm really thankful to be almost 5 cm without experiencing too much pain!! I remember what those contractions were like with Elijah to get to just God! So I'm praying that because I'm almost halfway there that when things do pick up it will just be super duper fast.

I still have the goal of having a natural labor...meaning no epidural. I'm praying. But I know if I have to be induced with pitocin that will be pretty impossible. Those pitocin contractions hurt like hellllllll.

Well, life with four under four hasn't quite begun yet, but I'm hoping that sometime soon it will. The sooner the better. I'm ready for the adventure.

Monday, April 13, 2009

My Top 10 Things About Being A WAHM...

10. I can sit down and eat breakfast with my kids every morning. (If I worked I don't think I would do that. It'd be a bowl of cereal and out the door!)
9. Taking breaks throughout the day to play with my kids. We build forts in the living room. I give manicures, face paint, finger paint, read books, watch movies and so much more during my work day. I have definitely mastered the art of multi-tasking.
8. I can choose how much work to do. If I want to be really ambitious I can take on a super heavy load that I know will bring in more money but will have me up typing all night long. If I'm being more reasonable I'll take my typical load. And if I'm just too busy with every thing else or not feeling good I can take a light load. I love the flexibility.
7. Tea time whenever I want it! Yum!!
6. Nap time is my time! I used to work through nap time but I've come to my senses. Sometimes I still do work a little but I realized I'm so much better if I take that time for M-E. I sew, or knit, or read, or sleep, or watch a movie. It's sooooo wonderful. No job would give me a two hour break everyday.
5. I get to make my own schedule...let me rephrase that. Me and my kids get to make MY schedule, lol.
4. I get to contribute to my household's income. When that check comes in the mail there is a definite satisfaction and motivation to keep going. Hey, no work = no money!
3. It's more comfortable to work at home and be a business owner. I love being the boss (I get it from my mama!) and no one is telling me what to do. I make all the decisions. Very nice, very very nice.
2. No coworkers. While I love people I have come to accept the fact that I work good alone. I am an independent worker. I love to just do my own thing and figure things out on my own. (I get that from my mama, too..., lol).
1. Being able to be here for my kids. That's really why I do it. If they're sick I can flex my schedule to be able to give them extra hugs and kisses and nurse them back to health. If they have a doctor's appointment no one is telling me when I can get a day off to do that. If we want to go to the park or spend the day at the children's museum or visiting people we can just do that. We live how we want for the most part. That's awesome!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Funny kids

My kids are so funny. My son E is in this phase where all he does is hum. He hums when he eating...through the ENTIRE meal. We usually know he's done when it gets quiet. He hums and the crazy thing is I understand the meanings of his different hums.

Anyway, I taught him to say "I don't know", but of course in his humming way. He holds up his hands palms up and "I don't know" and hums at the same time. It's so cute. Well, I guess he knows what "I don't know means and how to use it. When he hits his sister Z and she screams like she was hit with a baseball bat (She is very dramatic) we'll ask him what happened and he says "I don't know" in his little mumbling way. It's so funny, but I try really hard not to laugh in front of them, especially when she's crying. are a trip. I know there will be a day when this will drive me crazy and not be a cute behavior, but for now I think it is so funny.

I love their relationship. They get along so well. Z is so loving towards E. She's always putting his pacifier up so it won't get dirty (neat freak...yes). She gets his sippy cup for him. Sometimes they just walk up to each other and hug. To think that I felt so guilty about adding another child into the mix...I can't imagine life without E and their relationship is just amazing. I know Z is better with him than without. They are at a stage where they play really well together. Most days I just sit and watch them make up the weirdest games to play together. They laugh like they are having the time of their lives together and that makes me really happy...children truly are a joy.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Baby Names 101

Okay, so this is a huge topic of discussion but surprisingly not something I think about everyday. I guess with everything else going on in my life I'm not really feeling that I have to have a name for the babies until they are born. That's what we did with Elijah. Of course we didn't know what we were having and I really didn't want him to be named Elijah, but when you're under the influence of j/k. I'm not sure how we ended up with that name. I guess he just looked like an Elijah and the meaning is "Jehovah is my God". When I was pregnant with him I started learning about the name of God and I thought his name "Elijah" was awesome because it's saying Jehovah is his God...and people need to know about God's name being Jehovah nowadays. Plus I really pray that all my children will know and have a close relationship with Jehovah God.

So I had a dream about the little girl who keeps her feet all up in my ribcage and her name was Laylah. It means "dark beauty". I really like that name. Don't know of a middle name that goes with it though.

Then for a boy we want to name him Elbert after my brother but we're not so sure that we want that as a first name, and we can't think of a first name to go with it if we use it as a middle name.

Everyonne has been coming up with some craaaaaazzy names. My sister El wants to name them after famous duos...
1. Ike and Tina
2. Jay and Beyonce
3. Winnie and Nelson
4. Mary and Charles (my mom and dad's name...that's really funny if you know their history)
5. Ashford and Simpson
6. Bobby and Whitney
7. Chris and Reina

Need I go on?? She is silly and ridiculous, yet she swears she would use these names on her twins. I guess that why I'm having them and not her, lol.

My stepdaughter K has come up with a few funny ones too. Her first set was Sally and Robin. And I can't remember her second's so funny though. We definitely want something with some ethnicity and meaning and hers are just so eurocetric...and very reminiscent of slavery....

Well, the search continues. Maybe I'll dream up a boy name tonight that goes well with Elbert and Laylah <-----I love that name!


uterus is irritated...

So much going on in life right now...

Yesterday I went to L&D for preterm labor. When they hooked me up to the monitors I wwas contracting like 2 to 3 minutes apart. They immediately gave me a shot of terbutine and that slowed things down. I was also given a FFN test and that determined that I have a 1% chance of giving birth within the next 7-10 days. So I was sent home. The only problem was that my uterus was still very irritable and contracting on and off. It wasn't the "bring on the baby" type of contractions but it was just enough to make me uncomfortable. I canceled my piano lessons this morning and spent the whole days in bed.

Later I remembered that I had some magnesium supplements so I took some of those and they actually stopped my uterus from contracting so much. So now I'm much more comfortable...I'm also happier...Ladies and gentleman the *itch has left the building...hahaha!

So now I'm trying to be patient and make it to at least 36 weeks with this pregnancy. I pray that I do. I want these babies to be healthy, be able to breastfeed right away and be able to come home with me when I leave the hospital.

Thursday, April 2, 2009


Yesterday I left this blog window open for so long...pretty much all day in fact. I had so many things that kept going in and out of my head and I kept thinking, "Man I should blog about that!" But I never did.

Let's rewind back about 11 or 12 years ago when I was 15 or 16 years old. I was a huge fan of journaling...but I'm old fashioned so it was a Diary. Notice the capital "D". My Diary was like an extension of a person or a spirit...well I don't know if I would go that far, but it did have it's own entity about it. I carried that darn thing with me everywhere. To school, on the bus, to band practice, at home, while watching TV, while eating, while at the mall...I loved to write in my Diary. There was something about filling up the pages with ink, trying to write pretty...if I was mad writing furiously. I recorded every part of my life. Now the good thing is that I have a record of what happened during those things...a very extensive record! A few years ago I went back through the entries and read things that I was like, "Whoa, I don't even remember this." Even my own thoughts about life at that point surprise me. There were times when I can say that I was wise and there are some things that I had rationalized that I can say, "Thank God I don't think like that anymore!"

Now, it's funny that I started this entry "wordless" but yet the words are flowing. I think that's how a lot of things are in life. Sometimes you don't know what's going to happen, what to say, when to do what you need to do or how, but when you start on something things just flow and come to some sort of formation. That's really good to remember, especially right now in my life. We are going through a bad depression economically in this country and it has hit home with us. My husband has been unemployed for over a month now. There used to be a time where you could go looking for a job and find one in at least a week. My husband's been looking virtually everyday and still nothing. Now he is going to reapply at places he has all ready applied at, hoping that by changing up his resume a little they will see something they didn't before. Isn't this crazy?!?! But I have faith that things will be fine. Whatever happens, things will be fine. It might not be what we want to happen, but we will be fine. I believe in a God named Jehovah who has proven to be our provider through this whole time and even before that. Thinking on that helps me to sleep at night not worrying about bills and how we're going to pay or rent, or how we're going to get by...

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God..." --words that are easy to say but hard to live by...but in this time we must.


Thoughts on having twins...

Well, after just watching Dr. Phil's show about "Octomom" bring her babies home I definitely think my life will be much much easier than that. I hate to even call her "Octomom". That is so not fair. I think I'm one of the few who says to leave the woman alone. She seems to be a great mom from what I've seen on TV...she is just got a big challenge ahead of her for the next few years.

Now, notice I did not say, "She sure is going to have her hands full!" Gosh, I hate when people say that to me. I really don't go anywhere by myself with Zion and Elijah for obvious reason (the huge belly), but when I did that's all I heard. Then when I got pregnant people just looked at me as if I was crazy...or at least that's what it felt like to me. Honestly, I don't give a crap about what they or anyone else thinks. The bible says that "Children are the heritage of the Lord," and even says that blessed is who has many! So I'm blessed and I truly see my children as being that in my life. Now granted, when they were still pooping and crying and nursing around the clock it was more work, but I did see the joy in it then. But now it's like we're just coasting along in our routine and things are good. I have so much fun with them and watching their personalities develop. I am definitely looking forward to adding the twins into the mix and watching how they all interact together. It is going to be challenging. I know that. I'm not niave. But I see my children as blessings who will bring great things into my life...they are definitely not curses.

Thoughts on having twins...

I feel blessed and chosen, if that makes any sense. It is such a wonderful feeling. I know that not every woman will get to experience being pregnant with to babies so I feel really special. It's interesting that there are only two sets of twins in the whole bible, yet today 3 out of 100 women will have twins. I wonder why Jehovah didn't tell us more about twins, but then again he didn't go unto a lot of details about pregnancy or childbirth either. I guess he left it for us to figure out.

Anyway, I gotta go put Elijah and Zion to bed. Hopefully I can get some sewing done since I just got finished with my work. Yeah! No late night for me tonight.