Thursday, April 2, 2009

Wordless...

Yesterday I left this blog window open for so long...pretty much all day in fact. I had so many things that kept going in and out of my head and I kept thinking, "Man I should blog about that!" But I never did.

Let's rewind back about 11 or 12 years ago when I was 15 or 16 years old. I was a huge fan of journaling...but I'm old fashioned so it was a Diary. Notice the capital "D". My Diary was like an extension of a person or a spirit...well I don't know if I would go that far, but it did have it's own entity about it. I carried that darn thing with me everywhere. To school, on the bus, to band practice, at home, while watching TV, while eating, while at the mall...I loved to write in my Diary. There was something about filling up the pages with ink, trying to write pretty...if I was mad writing furiously. I recorded every part of my life. Now the good thing is that I have a record of what happened during those things...a very extensive record! A few years ago I went back through the entries and read things that I was like, "Whoa, I don't even remember this." Even my own thoughts about life at that point surprise me. There were times when I can say that I was wise and there are some things that I had rationalized that I can say, "Thank God I don't think like that anymore!"

Now, it's funny that I started this entry "wordless" but yet the words are flowing. I think that's how a lot of things are in life. Sometimes you don't know what's going to happen, what to say, when to do what you need to do or how, but when you start on something things just flow and come to some sort of formation. That's really good to remember, especially right now in my life. We are going through a bad depression economically in this country and it has hit home with us. My husband has been unemployed for over a month now. There used to be a time where you could go looking for a job and find one in at least a week. My husband's been looking virtually everyday and still nothing. Now he is going to reapply at places he has all ready applied at, hoping that by changing up his resume a little they will see something they didn't before. Isn't this crazy?!?! But I have faith that things will be fine. Whatever happens, things will be fine. It might not be what we want to happen, but we will be fine. I believe in a God named Jehovah who has proven to be our provider through this whole time and even before that. Thinking on that helps me to sleep at night not worrying about bills and how we're going to pay or rent, or how we're going to get by...

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God..." --words that are easy to say but hard to live by...but in this time we must.

Peace...

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